Arch Nemesis.

Scene 1.

A restaurant.

Our hero, CARNIVORE, sits at a large table of ten or so people who chat quietly, waiting for the first course of their set-menu banquet to appear . He is focussed intensely on something on the table in front of him. The light shift, revealing a bowl of salad.

CARNIVORE: Alright, Lettuce. I don’t like you and you don’t like me, but you’re the only thing here, so let’s get it on.